Friday Fiction #5

This week's inspiration from http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/

“Open it!” said Ewan.

I pulled the lid off my brother’s lunchbox and stared down at the three pieces of meat inside. They looked like barbequed chicken, but in strange curved shapes. “You stole their dinner.”

“Only a tiny bit of their dinner, but… look, it’s proof.”

“Of what? Ewan, you could have stolen these from nextdoor. You didn’t go to a magical world.”

“I did,” he picked up one of the pieces of meat. It was strangely claw-like. Tough and red.

Then I started laughing, because he was brandishing it and saying proudly, “This. Is from a dragon’s tail.”

3 Comments

Filed under Friday Fiction, Writing

3 responses to “Friday Fiction #5

  1. Madison Woods

    My comment got lost the first time I tried to post. It’s my own end’s fault though, slow internet.

    Your story set up a scene perfectly. I loved it. Because you specifically asked for feedback, there’s only one change I’d suggest and that’s the use of strange twice in so short a span: strange curved shapes and strangely claw-like.

    Sorry I didn’t see your post on the other page! If I had, I would have moved it to the story page for you. I was having trouble with the story page that morning, too.

  2. Hi Elmo,

    I’m glad you survived your weekend. Whose food was stolen? I want to go to that magical world where dragon’s tails are served for dinner. I thought that bacon looked strange. You picked up the other-worldly quality of the photo prompt quite well. Glad you didn’t let the delay stop you from submitting this piece.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  3. Thanks Madison and Doug, and for stopping by outside the usual friday window! It was a very different prompt this time but I enjoyed the challenge and the change.
    Quite right, Madison. Overuse of the word strange.
    Doug – whose food indeed? Did the kid really go to another world and bring back dragon tail, or did he just steal meat from the neighbours’ BBQ to back up his fanciful story of mythical adventures in a strange land?

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