Friday Fiction – The Lie of the Land

Thank you all for you kind wishes last week, it was very exciting to be able to finally share the news.

Madison has surpassed herself again with a gorgeous photograph – below. Check out her blog for other responses and comments (http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/rainbows/) My story is below. I’m not sure where it’s going this week; it sort of wrote itself, but I am quite tempted to press on and see where it goes next. So I might write a longer short story sometime next week.Β In the meantime, do let me know what you think of this opening by leaving a comment below!

The Lie of the Land

I have walked in these fields every day since I was a child. I know the trees and shrubs as well as I know my brothers; I know the undulations of the ground so well that I could navigate by them alone, with my eyes blindfolded or picked out by the jackdaws which whirl and cackle overhead.

I have walked in these fields every day since I was a child. But until today, I have never seen a clearing on the Mcguinty land. Now it is picked out by the tip of a rainbow, and I can see nothing else.

 

 

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40 Comments

Filed under Friday Fiction, Writing

40 responses to “Friday Fiction – The Lie of the Land

  1. Wonderful. How intriguing, a sudden clearing appearing?

    Here’s mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/05/17/friday-fictioneers-luck-of-the/

  2. That’s a very enticing opening. There’s a shocking and unexpected hint of where the author’s creative processes are going with the line ‘blindfolded or picked out by jackdaws’. Nice one.
    Mine’s at: http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/pursuit-friday-fictioneers-may-2012/

  3. Feels like the rainbow cleared the land somehow. Nice bit of mystery here.

    Mine’s this-a-way:
    http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/fridayfictioneers-rainbow-memorial/

  4. Yes, Madison’s prompt has made us see only the rainbow, literally and figuratively. Nicely wirtten. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/friday-fictioneers-sinking-low/

  5. A meditative pacing, lovely. And I love this line jackdaws which whirl and cackle overhead

  6. definitely go forward, very intriguing!

  7. TheOthers1

    So what does it mean, the sudden clearing? Very curious. Nice.

    My attempt: https://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/fields-of-wildflowers/

  8. Brandon Scott

    Like you, I’d be very interested in seeing where this goes.

  9. a very nice intro…with quite a sad ending? LOL.
    anyways,here’s mine: http://writeforacause.org/2012/05/18/friday-fictioneers-answered-prayer/
    Please feel free to check it out…^_______^

  10. A very nice combination of ominousness in the midst of the pastoral. What could it be? There’s no way for us to know, but I connected the eyes “picked out by the jackdaws” with the land “picked out by the tip of a rainbow.” Maybe it’s rainbow logging! They could use unicorns to skid the logs.

    • Ooh, careless word repetition, I apologise! But yes, I was definitely going for an ominous hint. Rainbow logging sounds like an ecological disaster even mankind hasn’t managed yet!

  11. Very neat! I really liked this and am wondering what caused the clearing to show up so unexpectedly….let us know when you find out! http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/05/17/friday-fictioneers-2/

  12. I love the title β€” it held a bit of a double meaning for me in this piece πŸ™‚

    Curious to know what made the character think of jackdaws picking out his eyes 😦

    Interested to know why the character thinks there might be a clearing now β€” has someone been chopping down his woods? Or is it the pesky leprechauns?

    You know where I am πŸ™‚

    http://plowright.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/fridayfictioneers-flashfriday-no-13/

  13. What is the rainbow doing? Or is the rainbow an implement controlled by something else? Interesting.

    Here’s mine: http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/flash-fiction-friday-4/

    • Sorry, JK, too many mysteries this week and I know I often get grumpy when other people do that. I’ll have to come up with some answers and post them here…

  14. Ooh, an unexplored terrain. It felt surprising, given how intimately the character seems to know the land. I think that’s what impressed me.

    http://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/friday-fictioneers-rainbows/

  15. I wish I knew such a place as well as your protagonist does! πŸ™‚
    Nice and calming piece!

  16. Good title! I like that the land may well have been hiding something all these years, waiting for the right moment to spring that meadow on the narrator. Stay well!

    Kathy
    http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/after/#comment-210

  17. Dear Elmo,

    This is haunting and beautiful.

    You are one of my favorite writer’s in this wide ranging group. Your words flow like a mountain stream, clear and bright and delicious from your fertile imagination. I could read your work all day long and relish the getting lost in it.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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