Friday Fiction – Grapes

Another slightly rushed and cobbled together post, but I really hope you enjoy this one. It wasn’t what I expected to write when I sat at m computer this morning, but when I saw Madison’s photo it was exactly what came to mind. Do check out the links on her page for more stories, and do let me have any feedback (positive or negative) on today’s story below.

To see Madison’s site with the prompt and other stories, click here

The Bitter Sweetness of Grapes

The first time, he was six years old, lying under the vines with purple stains and an ugly smile mingling on his lips – delirious with the heady pleasure of excess, unable to form coherent sentences and desperately, repeatedly, declaring his love. At six, you can pick them up and put them to bed to sleep it off. Next morning he awoke with a pounding head and a guilty promise never to do it again.

At forty-six, there’s a lot less you can do. The demon grape still puppets him, its effects all-too similar and its grip stronger than ever.

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27 Comments

Filed under Friday Fiction, Writing

27 responses to “Friday Fiction – Grapes

  1. hmmm not so charming and cute at 46 as he was 6…but old habits die hard no? Nice one Jennifer 🙂

  2. Guess his promises don’t mean much! I like the “demon grape still puppets him”. Good job.

    http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/sweet-and-sour

  3. He developed a taste for it so young… Nice one. I pondered use of ‘puppet’ as a verb, but I’ve not reached a conclusion on it. It didn’t spoil my enjoyment of the piece.

    http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/triple-exposure-friday-fictioneers-july-2012/

    • I pondered it too, Sandra. It was part of a longer sentence which I had to trim, but I decided on balance that it was more descriptive than any of the alternatives I considered, so I kept it. I might try to think up something else, though…

  4. rochellewisoff

    We can fill in the 40 year blank on this one, can’t we? Sad story, really. Hope he can pick himself up and get a handle on his addiction.
    http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/07/bittersweet.html

    • I hope so, Rochelle. I hoped that the analogy was sufficiently clear to show the latest incident and all the things which lead him there. It’s sad indeed.

  5. I also like the “demon grape” – great take on the picture. Thanks for stopping by mine and I agreed with your comment! (I just can’t figure out how to reply to only one comment on Blogger…maybe I can’t.)

    • Haha, you’re welcome. I can’t get to grips with Blogger as a reader either – all those “prove your not a robot” things. Thanks for stopping by mine!

  6. That first paragraph describes the dizzying effect perfectly. Great word choices, especially those two adverbs back to back.

  7. An innovative way of describing a terrible problem. I like “puppets”–it’s unique and descriptive.

  8. Kind of a veiled warning against the excesses of alcohol. Cute and clever. I love the comparison of six verses 46. I chuckled- heck a laughed at loud. Here’s my share: http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/07/friday-fictioneers-under-vines.html

  9. Dear Jen,

    What I found most compelling in your story was the very clear description of the underpinnings of addiction. I would never have thought of it as starting so early and from such a benign source, yet, upon reflection and re-reading, you made it seem perfectly logical and foreordained as our eventual deaths.

    Thanks for stopping by mine and offering up such nice comments and three words to be trimmed from the trellis.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/sweet-wine-and-the-fullness-of-time/

    (This link to another form of intoxication is intended to help those in need of a new twelve step program.)

    • That made me laugh, Doug! Thank you for your kind words, I’m not sure whether adiction is preordained or not, but I’m sure the comparison would be frighteningly clear in the mother’s mind looking back.

  10. it sounds like the 6-year old was drunk, but it also seems like he only ate grapes and didn’t drink wine. or maybe you’re using the grapes to represent the wine. i’m not sure, so please help me out. thanks!

    • Sorry for the confusion, Rich. The idea was that the little boy had just overdosed on sugar from the grapes – eaten in excess straight from the vine – whereas years later, he was on the wine, but with eerily similar effects. Does that make sense?

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