Friday Fictioneers – Far Afield

This week’s picture comes from Maggie Duncan, on Madison Woods’ site. There is something very British about the photo, but I have a feeling that’s more nostalgia in me than accurate geographical identification. I’d love to know where it’s taken though. It’s another landscape, and for me those are always harder than the close ups of something, so I thought I’d give you a taste of the longish story I’ve been wanting to write since the idea popped into my head recently. With luck, sometime I’ll have a chance to write the rest!

By way of background, you need to know that Piccolo is a cat who is trying to get home to his family. Which is another reason this picture made me want to write about him, because, as Maggie mentioned in her post, fog comes on little cat feet.

Far Afield

Piccolo batted a damp leaf from his nose and sniffed the air. He’d been dreaming of chasing the string bird around the bedroom with Dad, and the cold damp air around him came as a shock. It smelt strange – like spring and grass.

Peeking out from the bush, he felt a pang of loneliness. This place was nothing like home. There were no houses, no roads and the only sound was birds, too high to catch, in the branches above him. Ahead, the ground was invisible, blanketed in thick fog, dotted only with more trees, ghostly in their silhouettes.

65 Comments

Filed under Friday Fiction, Uncategorized, Writing

65 responses to “Friday Fictioneers – Far Afield

  1. Aw. Poor Piccolo. I hope he finds home soon. Very nice piece, Jennifer. Makes me want to know more.
    http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/escape/

  2. I’m a sucker for a cat tale and this is no exception. I’m going to tell myself he’s only feeling disorientated because of the fog, and not really lost. And you’d better not tell me differently. Good one.

  3. Poor Piccolo–I hope he gets home soon. Thanks for the comments on mine.

  4. A great story.
    I picked up a sense of mystery and a little foreboding. I got the distinct impression that all was a little more sinister than you might think – or maybe it’s just me and my over active imagination!

  5. Russell

    I like the way you envoked the sense of smell into this tale. When the fog rolls in between Ozark hills it gets deathly quiet. The wildlife stop moving and a eerie calm blankets the valleys. You’ve captured this quite well.

    http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/

  6. I really enjoyed your story. I posted a a cat story a while back – one of our cats escaped outside and wouldn’t come back. I often thought of him and wondered if he missed what his life was like inside. The story is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/05/22/free-will/ He’s home now, and happier than ever.

  7. Loved this little tale and loved the smell of the fog!

  8. Nice! I like Piccolo and understand why the fog/mist would make him feel lonely. I hope the next part of his tale (not tail) goes better.

  9. What an intriguing tale…I look forward to read more of Piccolo’s adventures! Thank you for stopping by and reading mine and for the lovely comment. Your time and words are greatly appreciated!

  10. I enjoyed this, nicely done. Thanks for stopping by mine

  11. Wonderful! We tend to think that animals would feel right at home in the natural world – but why wouldn’t a house pet feel disoriented and lonely? Your story presents Piccolo’s perceptions so clearly, without stepping outside the range of what a cat might remember and notice.

    • What can I say? I’m almost as comfortable inside cats’ heads as my own. It’s been that way ever since I was 4 and told my Mum I was a cat! I’m glad this rang true for you.

  12. TheOthers1

    This sounds like it’ll be a cute tale. Nice description by the way.

  13. Very well told, I thought, and I’m also in line to read more of Piccolo’s adventures. Thanks for stopping by mine too.

  14. Oh my! Poor little kitty. You do such an excellent job of placing us inside the mind of Piccolo.

  15. Enjoyed the voice of the cat. I’m sure that Dad misses him, too!

  16. I love your POV! I had guessed it without reading your introduction. Nice!
    http://susielindau.com/2012/08/24/a-twisted-tale-flash-fiction/

  17. Well written. You can continue and develop a real adventure.

  18. Joyce

    Ah. What a cute story. I now got a picture of who little Piccolo is. I had to read back a little to pick up some details. I have written some animal stories and poems of family dogs and even rhyming story of a duck and little pair of Swedish mice. I have done them for my kids and grand kids. Love the animal stories. I look forward to reading more Piccolo stories.

    • Thanks Joyce, I definitley want to do more with Piccolo – he’s got so far to go and so many adventures to have along the way. I’ve neve written much kid’s stuff before, but I think I might make this a children’s story a la Narnia, not a little kid’s story.

  19. Oh my, poor Piccolo! I feel so sad for him, missing his home. I would be very upset if my cat was lost. She is an indoor cat though so that isn’t likely to happen. I am glad you enjoyed my story.

  20. If I ever find myself needing to write from a cat’s POV, I now know who to come to for advice.

    • Thanks, Adam, I’m going to take that as a compliment! And if you need that advice, I’m sure my two kitties will be pleased to assist (although if you want to *type* from a kitten’s point of view, it looks something like:
      [[[[[[[[[fffffff[a

      • It was meant to be a compliment, so I hope it was taken that way. I’m a dog person myself. Nothing against cats, I just don’t want one living in my house. If you want to write from a dog’s perspective, based on my experiences, it’d be a bit like this: “food, food, food, outside, squirrel, bunny, bunny, bird, bunny, squirrel, bunny, bunny, bunny, etc.” until you can get it’s attention long enough to get it back inside. Then it’d start all over again. It’s a vicious cycle.

      • haha, Adam! I love how simple dog brains seem to be. Cats have a whole range of experiences and are very intelligent – so much the better species!!!

  21. Its beautiful. It would be a sin if you do not complete this story towards addicts like me. Please, please, please do write all the adventures of our little beloved, Piccolo. Thank you for sharing.

  22. A lovely piece of writing. I like how you’ve covered sight, sound and smell in only two paragraphs.

  23. Reading this as young Zelda (our Piccolo) is doing her morning tarantella. I’d miss that so much, I felt for Piccolo’s people as much as him, because they don’t know where he is!

  24. What a lovely and enjoyable piece, I’m looking forward to more of Piccolo’s adventures. 🙂

  25. Hopefully, Piccolo’s family is on a camping trip and the tent (with breakfast) is right behind him. Thanks for visiting vb’s reverbs.

  26. Pingback: The Real Piccolo | elmowrites

  27. Dear Jen,

    I got here late, but better. Loved Far Afield. Adore cats. Allergic, though. Rats. (Now back to reading The Real Piccolo.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • Doug! I thought you’d forgotten me! Glad to see you were just saving the best till last 😉 Being allergic to cats would be terrible, just terrible, for me. I do actually get a bit snuffly if I inhale their fur, but nothing too bad. I feel your pain! You’ll just have to adopt Piccolo as your feline friend.
      Jen

  28. Pingback: Satisfaction Brought them Back « ironwoodwind

  29. I want to take piccolo home. nicely written.

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