Friday Fiction – Sunset in Departures

I’m swapping my posts this week. Today’s is my Friday Fiction, tomorrow I hope to post a response to this week’s InMon prompts. In honour of the impending celebration of Valentine’s Day, and of my husband who is flying out on business tonight, this one’s a rare thing for me – a love story. No prior drafts this week – I neglected to keep the changes, but in any event they were pretty minor. I’d love to read your comments – good or bad.

Thanks, as always to our pilot, Rochelle, and this week’s guest photographer, Rich.

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Sunset in Departures (Genre: Romance)

He warms me like the sun. Until he leaves. And as I watch him go, it sinks out of sight leaving only a reflected glow. The sun will rise again tomorrow. I will be warm and he will return.

But, for now, there is no sun. Only the reflected rays of happiness: a photograph, a card, a bunch of flowers.

So it has been, every time. Except today. Because today there is another reminder. A reflection so strong it is no moon, no distant star. A new sun, equally bright.

He warms me like the sun. Until his father returns.

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51 Comments

Filed under Friday Fiction, Writing

51 responses to “Friday Fiction – Sunset in Departures

  1. Nicely done! I love how you worked them both into your story and used the same line to tie it all together. But don’t you feel you’ve gone to the dark side by posting on Thursday?? 🙂

    janet

  2. Sweet. Man, that kid’s getting big fast.

  3. very nice work.

    “A reflection so strong it is no moon, no distant star. A new sun, equally bright.”–poetry.

  4. This warms my heart..You got a good one there…make that two! Well done.
    Tom

  5. So much love in those 100 words… Beautiful!

  6. Dear Jen,

    Saw your story up early and could not wait. The wading through the rest will have to come with no reward. Your Sweet, switly written 100 words made me cry. I have no better comment or compliment. Thank you for writing.

    Aloha,

    Doug (The Evil One)

  7. I can’t believe Sebastian has grown so quickly! Lovely story, nice to see you this early in the proceedings.

  8. You should more romance i guess…This works so good for you, about the father and son laced with depth and feelings so strong. Enjoy!

  9. A very sweet story – I love the child being the reflection of the father. I miss your revisions though!

  10. Such a sweet story. Made me feel warm and cozy. And love. I felt love.

  11. John Henry Beck

    Very nice story. I travel for business and it is always hard to say good-bye to my wife and kids. And always nice to get back home. 🙂

  12. t

    Perfect – a Lover’s love, a Mother’s love.

  13. Really sweet. Nice love story, father and son.

  14. A lovely tribute to two important men in your world. i know they are honored to ber immortalized here. Such a cute little one.

  15. really sweet and kindly story. I like the parallels between sunrise/sunset and departure and return.

  16. Jen, that SINGS!!! Such good sentiment without the sappiness.

    Thanks for sharing the photo of your husband and son. Oh, that baby … so cuuuuuuute!! You folks are truly blessed.

  17. Dear Jen,
    Very touching and honest. Obviously from a deep place. I can’t help smiling as I type.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

  18. Lovely story, and I love : “a new sun, equally bright”. This is poetry to me.

  19. awwww. that was so sweet and smiley and all goodness and niceness. now, get back to the other stuff next week.

  20. When I read this all I could say was “Awww” – then had my wife read it. We both loved it. Beautifully poetic.

  21. Beautiful!
    I like: “A reflection so strong it is no moon, no distant star. A new sun, equally bright.”

  22. Pingback: FF – Summer Rerun – Sunset in Departures | elmowrites

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