Daily Archives: March 13, 2013

Friday Fiction – The Fraud

It’s Wednesday, so must be time for some FF. I can’t decide how I feel about this one, it’s either clever or terrible, depending whether what I’m trying to do has worked. Let me know what you think. If I get time later in the week, I might come back and have a second go. Until then, no edits this week – basically I wrote the conversation, then added the stage directions, then cut 8 words to make it 100.

Thanks to Rochelle and Lora for the inspiration.

lilies-lora-mitchell

The Fraud

James and Barry watched the video a third time.

“I reckon it’s a fake,” Barry nodded, looking to James for confirmation.

“Course it’s a fake. Who sets a video camera to record flowers? I just wanna know how he did it.”

Barry clicked play again. “Tripod, maybe. Unless there was a table in the…”

“Not the video.” James spat the words like tobacco. “I mean the fake bit: the movement.”

“That’s what I meant,” Barry tried, “the movement. How does he make it look alive?”

James didn’t reply; he was studying the video. He’d forgotten Barry was there at all.

***ADDENDUM

After 12 hours+ of comments, it seems to me that I was right about this being mostly confusing. Here’s an explanation, for those who want it, followed by a slightly tidied up version of the story. I still might write another story on this prompt if I get time, but for now…

James and Barry are friends. In the sense that Barry is a bit slow, but James lets him tag along because he likes having someone to boss around. It’s fair to say James isn’t a very nice kid.

The boys are watching a youtube video which has gone viral, showing a plant moving, “alive”. Barry is trying to sound intelligent; James doesn’t really give a damn what Barry says – and everything Barry does say just cements James’ view that Barry’s an idiot. In truth, James isn’t that intelligent either (otherwise why’s he messing about watching clearly fake youtube videos?), but in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is King.

If the piece is clever, it’s because the video, James and Barry are all, arguably, The Fraud of the title. But I have a feeling it is just not a very good story. I’m not sayingthis out of some fishing-for-compliments false modesty. I genuinely think it should be filed under “could do better”.

Version 2:

They played it a third time. James watched the plant, Barry watched James – both trying to understand.

“I reckon it’s a fake,” Barry nodded, looking to James for confirmation.

“Course it’s a fake. Who sets a camera to record flowers? I just wanna know how he did it.”

“Tripod, maybe? Unless there was a table in the…” Barry clicked play again.

“Not the video,” James spat the words like tobacco. “The movement.”

“That’s what I meant. The movement. How does he make it look alive?”

James didn’t reply; he was studying the screen. He’d forgotten Barry was there at all.

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