Another piece for the Friday Fictioneers – thanks to Rochelle’s leadership and Ted‘s prompt.
When I saw this week’s prompt, I came up with a character, and this week’s piece is arguably more character sketch than story, but either way I like it. It raises the useful reminder that we should endeavour to create unique characters with rich and unusual histories. Which is why, when I made a typo half way through, I used it as a jumping off point instead of correcting it, and ultimately it became the title. I’d love to hear what you think – of the story as a whole, and that part in particular.
No edits this week, they weren’t very interesting.
An Eulogy
Back when her paintings sold for thousands, someone had offered a million dollars for her “installation piece” and she’d said no. Sure, she could’ve replaced every bottle for that and kept the change, but it had taken her a long time and a lot of heartache to build her collection – a rough approximation of her Dad’s consumption. An eulogy, she called it. With the ‘n’: the punchline of a joke she never shared.
These days, no one wanted Mary or her paintings, and the bottles were gradually turning from full to empty. Her final tribute to her late, beloved father.
elmowrites 
What an unique vision for this picture — installation piece. (and yes, I left the ‘n’ above in just for you, darling). Portrait of a lonely, forgotten artist. Sad and poignant. Just lovely.
Mary would be proud of you, Helena! Thankfs for your kind words
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This is stupendous. 🙂
wow, thank you
I hope one day I’ll be able to put as much story into 100 words. I really enjoyed it.
Thank you, zebra, my rule for FF is “implication not explanation” – probably a good rule for all writing, come to think of it.
Excellent, as always!
🙂
great job – great irony, bitterness, and hurt.
Yeah, not my lightest story, certainly!
This has a lot of depth and soul. A sad ending.
I’m glad it worked fror you. The problem with implication is making things clear enough. i think this week worked better than last.
Dear Jen,
There’s a lot of depth and layering in this short piece. The bottles went from full to empty…very telling.
shalom,
Rochelle
I’m delighted you think so. I wanted to avoid getting too explicit at the end there, but without leaving people behind. Sometimes that’s a tough balancing act, I find.
I like it! Subtle juxtaposition of the brightly colored room with the darker melodrama going on. I especially like the final tribute part. Tragic and telling.
Cheers, Steve. It’s what I saw in the picture – bright painting, ominous bottles…
Very very good.
It has everything.
Merci beaucoup, elephant!
As the bottles empty, the installation will come to the same end as her father–Good story.
The installation, and then the artist herself. Thanks
Interesting Jennifer. Her life in pictures changed to a life of fluid.
cheers, Joe. I do like my bleak tales! Wait till I get my hands on the BD characters!!!
Quite a good character sketch, methinks — a dose of the father and his effect on his daughter.
Thanks Zooky!
Well-written and a great take on the prompt. Enjoyed it a lot! Wrote down for my own use: implication not explanation.
I take no credit – I stole the motto from Rochelle! – but it definitely works for me as a reminder.
Rochelle, if you see this, Thank You!
Poignant, heartfelt and a little sad – very nicely constructed, as always.
Thank you, Erin. Definitely felt a sad one – it’s not always good to follow in your parents’ footsteps.
A lot of story (a full life) for only being a character description. I really liked it.. especially the bottles turning from full to empty.
I think maybe that’s the key to a good character, Bjorn – a story of their own.
I like the way you went with your subconscious prompting (regarding the title) and it added an edge to the piece. You’ve skillfully covered a lot of background. A very interesting story.
Cheers, Linda. I’m pleased with how it worked out too.
That is SO true, of people, isn’t it? Jenn, you made another one ring here. Tip of the hat to you!
Sadly, yes it is. I acknowledge your hat-tip!
Great story, very clever. The title made me question my English for a minute (even as a native speaker!), so I was glad you explained it was an error! The installation piece is a powerful image – that each bottle represented one drunk by her father in his lifetime. I wouldn’t like to see what my alcohol consumption looked like lined up behind a bar!
Sorry to make you doubt yourself, el, I’m glad it worked out in the end though.
But no feeling of regret that she had turned down the big bucks. She was/is strong.
There is a saying – mental illness isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of having to be strong for too long. I fear the same may be true of Mary’s addiction.
I think that may qualify as the saddest I have read here.
Good emotions and imaging.
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/05/09/friday-fictioneers-5102013-genre-horror-humor-pg13/
Thanks Scott. I haven’t had a chance to read many others this week, but I’m guessing it’s not got many close relatives from this prompt!
I believe there were several eulogy type writings, but I think this one was the saddest.
Bootifull! What a genuis you are for intentioally mis-spelling words. Why didn’t I thank of that?
Seriously though, this is one of the best 100 Flash Fictions I’ve ever read. I’m in envy.
Intentionally-by-accident, but thank you Russell, this comment is so cheering!
WOW! Another flash that has me catching my breath!
I loved the idea of the bar being a work of art – and the sadness in the desperate end – like father, drinking herself to death.
A powerful flash full of story and character!
Thank you, neens, I’m glad it worked for you.
I liked your story, Jennifer.
Cheers, Ted!
Mary’s pain is palpable. Her refusal to sell reminded me of the adage ‘always take the first offer’ (because you’ll never be offered as much again). And ‘an eulogy’ really jars, which is the point, so I want to be in on the joke.
I wonder how things would have gone if she had sold it…
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I guess the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Like father, like daughter. So sad that it happened to both of them. Great story.
Just goes to show that often the shorter ones have a tighter grip on the reader. This one certainly has. I’m glad of the rerun and the opportunity of catching up with great stories that I’ve missed 🙂