For the last few weeks, my Friday Fiction entries have been a bit of fun – a nod to our beautiful hostess, Rochelle, and an admission from the heart of a struggling procrastinator. But this week, I wanted to go back to real story-writing. Then I saw the prompt from Erin Leary and it made me think of a couple of things. Initially, it reminded me of the third FF photo I ever responded to, but then it made me feel much bleaker and darker, helped no doubt by the fact I’m currently reading Cornell Woolrich’s ‘Four Novella’s of Fear’ and getting back in touch with my dark side.
It was the dark side that won out, and I’d love to hear her well (or not) this story works for you.
A Rare Kindness
The weather is so rarely kind. But when I passed the spot next morning, I was pleasantly surprised. The rain in the night had fallen on saturated ground, there and upstream, and the field beside the road was now just more river. No evidence of my labours remained.
Tomorrow, perhaps, or next week, or next month, when the waters recede, her grave might be visible. The water might even reopen it and free her body the way I freed her soul. But for now, my crime escapes detection. And tomorrow I will be far enough away to do the same.
elmowrites 
Ooh, love this. Very M.R. James in style.
Thank you!
Dark, yes, but subtly so, leaving the reader to decide within the bounds of his/her own tolerance for darkness just how twisted and vile this crime might have been. I like it!
Indeed, you can choose your victim, motive and method to suit your own tastes!
There was something almost Bronte-esque about that opening line. I love your ‘dark’ side. 🙂 Well done.
Ooh, Bronte. I was definitely going for an old-school style, but never thought I’d hit Bronte. I like the dark side too!
Ooh!How wickedly sinister-“freed her soul”-indeed!Loved this totally 🙂
Very vivid. “No evidence of my labor remained.” I especially liked that. Wonder what would have happened if it had not rained?
DJ
I like to think the grave was reasonably well-hidden anyway; the river just aided escape!
It worked quite well! Good job!
So great! Subtly creepy and unsettling.
I quite enjoyed it. The subtle way you wove the dark tale. With the simple injection that he freed her soul. How convulutedly sinister of him.
Thanks – convolutedly sinister, now there’s a phrase I like!
Yes if only I’d spelled it right.
I love your title. It leads the reader to believe it might be a happy story, but then you lead us down a wonderfully creepy road. Excellent!
Thank you, I often struggle with titles, but this seemed like the one, so I’m glad you liked it.
You weren’t exaggerating about the darkness. This was a chillingly effective take on the prompt
A crime of opportunity? Or was it a crime of passion and fate just lent a hand?
The harshness of her deeds is beautifully represented in your words.
-HA
Double meaning in the title referring to the weather as well as the crime. Nicely conceived and executed story.
Thank you, I’m so glad the title worked.
A perfect crime a body lost giving the murder time to escape.
Aren’t you the little murderess! How many have you done away with here in Friday Fictioneers? Have your ever counted them?
haha! Good question. I’ve never counted but with over 100 stories to my name, I’m sure it’s more than many serial killers!!!
Excellent read! really clever! Nan
Dear Jen,
Gentle, subtle and chilling. Well done.
shalom,
Rochelle
A moody and effective story. Nicely done.
Superb.
AnElephant loves it.
Ominously beautiful, a story told with layers of meaning, the truth hidden by something lovely.
A malevolent tale spun so seductively…
I hope he left some forgotten clue behind.
Maybe, or maybe he deserves to get away with it…
That second paragraph is such a shift from “could be ordinary” to “decidedly sinister”. Nicely done!
haha, I like that! thank you.
Gosh. That is pretty dark. Will the writer escape?
I’ve not heard of Cornell Woolrich but will explore.
I hadn’t either until a friend recommended this novel, but apparently he’s the guy who wrote Rear Window (of Hitchcock fame). I enjoyed the book.
Very nice! Flash fiction is almost poetic when done this well.
Some nice phrases in this piece – i liked “free her body the way I freed her soul” and “my crime escapes detection. And tomorrow I will be far enough away to do the same.”
Well written
You pulled that off quite well!
The violence is very soft in this and more ghastly for being so. I like “… freed her soul.” It suggests the mindset of the killer, some of whom believe they are carrying out ‘God’s’ will. 🙂
A dastardly deed entranced by such lovely prose! I am shocked! I applaud you!