Friday Fiction – A Rare Kindness

For the last few weeks, my Friday Fiction entries have been a bit of fun – a nod to our beautiful hostess, Rochelle, and an admission from the heart of a struggling procrastinator. But this week, I wanted to go back to real story-writing. Then I saw the prompt from Erin Leary and it made me think of a couple of things. Initially, it reminded me of the third FF photo I ever responded to, but then it made me feel much bleaker and darker, helped no doubt by the fact I’m currently reading Cornell Woolrich’s ‘Four Novella’s of Fear’ and getting back in touch with my dark side.

It was the dark side that won out, and I’d love to hear her well (or not) this story works for you.

copyright-erin-leary

A Rare Kindness

The weather is so rarely kind. But when I passed the spot next morning, I was pleasantly surprised. The rain in the night had fallen on saturated ground, there and upstream, and the field beside the road was now just more river. No evidence of my labours remained.

Tomorrow, perhaps, or next week, or next month, when the waters recede, her grave might be visible. The water might even reopen it and free her body the way I freed her soul. But for now, my crime escapes detection. And tomorrow I will be far enough away to do the same.

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41 Comments

Filed under Friday Fiction, Writing

41 responses to “Friday Fiction – A Rare Kindness

  1. Ooh, love this. Very M.R. James in style.

  2. Dark, yes, but subtly so, leaving the reader to decide within the bounds of his/her own tolerance for darkness just how twisted and vile this crime might have been. I like it!

  3. There was something almost Bronte-esque about that opening line. I love your ‘dark’ side. 🙂 Well done.

  4. Ooh!How wickedly sinister-“freed her soul”-indeed!Loved this totally 🙂

  5. Very vivid. “No evidence of my labor remained.” I especially liked that. Wonder what would have happened if it had not rained?

    DJ

  6. It worked quite well! Good job!

  7. So great! Subtly creepy and unsettling.

  8. I quite enjoyed it. The subtle way you wove the dark tale. With the simple injection that he freed her soul. How convulutedly sinister of him.

  9. I love your title. It leads the reader to believe it might be a happy story, but then you lead us down a wonderfully creepy road. Excellent!

  10. You weren’t exaggerating about the darkness. This was a chillingly effective take on the prompt

  11. A crime of opportunity? Or was it a crime of passion and fate just lent a hand?

  12. The harshness of her deeds is beautifully represented in your words.
    -HA

  13. Double meaning in the title referring to the weather as well as the crime. Nicely conceived and executed story.

  14. A perfect crime a body lost giving the murder time to escape.

  15. Aren’t you the little murderess! How many have you done away with here in Friday Fictioneers? Have your ever counted them?

  16. Excellent read! really clever! Nan

  17. Dear Jen,

    Gentle, subtle and chilling. Well done.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

  18. A moody and effective story. Nicely done.

  19. Superb.
    AnElephant loves it.

  20. Ominously beautiful, a story told with layers of meaning, the truth hidden by something lovely.

  21. A malevolent tale spun so seductively…

  22. I hope he left some forgotten clue behind.

  23. That second paragraph is such a shift from “could be ordinary” to “decidedly sinister”. Nicely done!

  24. Gosh. That is pretty dark. Will the writer escape?
    I’ve not heard of Cornell Woolrich but will explore.

  25. Very nice! Flash fiction is almost poetic when done this well.

  26. Some nice phrases in this piece – i liked “free her body the way I freed her soul” and “my crime escapes detection. And tomorrow I will be far enough away to do the same.”
    Well written

  27. You pulled that off quite well!

  28. The violence is very soft in this and more ghastly for being so. I like “… freed her soul.” It suggests the mindset of the killer, some of whom believe they are carrying out ‘God’s’ will. 🙂

  29. A dastardly deed entranced by such lovely prose! I am shocked! I applaud you!

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