Friday Fiction is brought to us by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. This week’s photograph comes from Sandra Crook.
My story today (which has *Moderate Language Warning*) is below and as usual I’d love to hear what you think. I’m thick-skinned, so if there’s something you don’t like (or even nothing you do), never be afraid to say so. Thanks for reading!
Uphill Struggle
Pushing through the fire escape, I felt like such a cliché. Face him, I told myself, Just say you’re not interested. But five disastrous dates this month, I’m done being polite. I’m done with dating. Can’t Mr Right just fall into my lap?
I texted Andy. Another one bites the dust. I know, Diary, you’re thinking: Will you just date Andy already? But you know I can’t. You know about Cyprus.
Soon I’ll be the only guy in London you haven’t rejected, the message came back. Then another: When that happens, I’ll propose 😉
Damn emoticons. Damn damn damn them.
elmowrites 
Longing to know about Cyprus. 🙂 Intrigued.
🙂 Your emoticon is a happy-making one. I want to know about Cyprus too…
Those damned emoticons! They go and dash her hopes. Of course, they’ve saved many a misunderstanding too, I’m sure. Great story, as usual, Jen. You put a lot of story into a short amount of text.
-David
Glad you liked it, David, and yes, emoticons are definitely useful in the absence of tone of voice!
Oh dear. What must you think of my R-Rated coarse language?
This was a really great little story, as usual. You excel at creating a backstory in my mind with only 100 words. This is such a complex relationship, but one we are all familiar with. Very well done.
Helena – to be honest, I hesitated about the warning but thought better safe than sorry; I’ve heard people finding damn offensive, and I’d rather let the delicate-minded take their own decisions.
I was wondering if the familiarity constituted cliché – what do you think?
I didn’t find it cliche, rather, I enjoyed your handling of the familiar — that phrase about when you’ve rejected every man in London, that’s when I’ll propose — was inspired.
As for the profanity — you are far more polite than I — you must be British or something 😉
haha, must be!
I tried to comment on yours but it WON’T LET ME! Booo. Here’s a rough facsimile:
TR/DR (too rude, didn’t read) 😉 Of course I read it and, clichés aside, I just hope I’m not one of the sheep! I certainly think you should keep taking the road less travelled. If the bleaters don’t like it, that’s their problem not yours.
As for your story, I loved the character you threw into it, the dialogue and the take on the picture. great job!
Weird. I assure you I’ve not blocked you from commenting. Must be a glitch.
As for “are you a sheep” — are you kidding?
You challenge my perspectives on things almost every time I read you. I’ve actually been meaning to ask you – do you have any other writing — larger pieces, I mean — that I could read — or perhaps that you’ve published? What are you working on now? Or does your regular every day life keep you too busy for aught else but Friday Fictioneers?
I’ll let you off this time because you’re so nice, but if it happens again, I’m taking it personally! And no, nothing published barring a few 100 word things, but I’m working on it. And I think you’ll have seen my slightly longer InMon stories published here some Thursdays?
Enjoyed the story, struggling to see what was worthy of the moderate language warning though.
Mild language warning, really, but as I said to Helena, I decided to err on the cautious side. (and “mild language warning” sounds to me like an oxymoron!)
Perhaps the diary knows too much. Well done!
The Diary’s probably throwing its hands up in horror at her ridiculousness!
Yay!
Jennifer, After a while dating can be hell. Maybe he’s wise to wait. I don’t know about Cyprus, but at least he loves her enough to keep coming back. That’s a plus in my book. 🙂 —Susan
Dear Jennifer,
My best friend in high school was a guy who was drop-dead gorgeous. We never dated although half the kids thought we were.
I do have to wonder what happened in Cyprus. Maybe Andy’s hiding behind the emoticon while saying what he really means.
Damn damn good story. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
PS…really I mean it. 😀
I like to think you’re right about Andy – after Cyprus he’s probably a bit cautious about letting his feelings get in the way of their friendship. We’re just have to hope eventually one of them takes a chance!
I really want to know about Cyprus. And do they get together. Great story.
I do not begin to even find “damn” offensive especially since I occasionally use the “f” word. Tell me, what happened with that damn f-ing Cyprus?
I could tell you, Perry, but I’d have to kill you 😉 (useful things, these emoticons)
love your style…my daughter would appreciate this one since she’s not yet found “mr. right.”
Dear Jennifer,
I love the hook of Cyprus. Instead of a moderate language warning we would have been better served with a ‘teaser story point’ warning.
Aloha,
Doug
haha, Doug. Where would the fun be in that?!
I was scanning back and forth to find the offensive language.. hmm was that Cyprus of the emoticon 😉 so complex word with texting emoticons and even those pesky instagram pictures
Gee whiz! And here I thought Cypress was a spy contact or something. But, nevertheless, a good story all around.
“Damn, damn, damn — I’ve grown accustomed to her face!
She almost makes the day begin
I’ve grown accustomed to the tune
That she whistles night and noon
Her smiles, her frowns
Her ups, her downs
Are second nature to me now …” EVERYBODY SING!
ha! i like this. very clever 🙂
Charming, Jennifer. Your character’s voice is clear, and the “language” works. Neatly spun. I hope she doesn’t wait too long to recognize that she’s already met Mr. Right.
Cheers!
MG
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Sounds like she knows who Mr Right is – nicely done.
Amusing take. He sounds worth persevering with and perhaps it’s fate, the emoticons are helping her out.