Friday Fictioneers – Perspective

Well, I finally finished reading the last of last week’s submissions yesterday evening. If you didn’t get a comment from me, it’s because the internet ate it (is that the modern version of ‘The dog ate my homework”?). I enjoyed the diversity, as well as the quality, but I think we can safely say I won’t be reading all the entries again for a while. I got nothing else done this week. My respect for those who do it every week has just hit new levels!

This week’s prompt is from returned Fictioneer, Doug MacIlroy. Our leader, Rochelle, is one of those I mentioned above. They both write stunning stories, so I urge you to check out the links. As for me, my story is hopefully a little less obtuse than last week’s, but who knows – I eagerly await your comments.

hokusai4rwf

Perspective

Dear Diary,

Downloaded a new book: The Diary of Anne Frank. This girl was stuck in an attic for years. Mum said I should read it to get some perspective, but it just makes me cry. She had so little. Like, she couldn’t talk to her friends or anything, because back then they didn’t have computers and whatever.

Had to stop reading it when it got dark – we can’t risk any light at night in case it seeps through the curtains letting the soldiers know there’s someone up here. Dad says tomorrow we’ll do a Google maps tour of home.

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53 Comments

Filed under Friday Fiction, Writing

53 responses to “Friday Fictioneers – Perspective

  1. Great take.

    Why did,nt I think of it ? 🙂

  2. Still so sad that even to day there are children growing up in hiding.. I bet that someone could track them through those tracks left on the internet… I know what you mean by reading and commenting… I did not do it this week – but I have tried doing it a few times… (I also write for a few other prompts .. so I probably get to read a few hundreds of blog posts a week)… Have a great week 🙂

  3. Great perspective! Good early morning reading.

    Lily

  4. Anita

    That’s quite a ‘frank’ ‘perspective’ 🙂

  5. You know, that really is a chilling tale, and all the more so because of the immature voice setting out such a dreadful scene. Loved this!

  6. I agree with Sandra. The voice in this makes the tale more chilling. “Like, she couldn’t talk to her friends . . .” Childlike yet not in the end. Cheers.

  7. Terrific take. We really have not traveled as far as a human species as we might like to think. Wonderful tone and setting. Thanks for taking the time to read my piece last week and for your thoughtful edit. I have not had time to respond or make changes but it was very appreciated. 🙂 Dana

    • I don’t think we’ve travelled very far at all, sadly – same humanity, just different technologies.
      And you’re very welcome – for me, concrit is all part of the game.

  8. Poignant and, unfortunately, quite possible. You did a wonderful job of portraying the isolation of prejudice and war.

  9. It’s tragic that some things that we know were so wrong in the past still exist today. I was taught that we document and study history to prevent the negative aspects from repeating themselves. Hopefully, we can discover an effective solution to this once and for all. The important thing is to never stop searching. Very touching and real.

  10. I love the way you intertwined the two parallel stories, Jen. Too many people live in fear today and have for centuries. Very realistic in a terrible way.

    janet

  11. Very clever take and points out that people still live in fear of their governments today. We take a lot for granted here. Good work!

  12. It’s such a sad thing that the same horrific stories are still happening today. It was a clever idea to bring Anne Frank’s story into our modern world, Jen.

  13. What a beautiful take! I could almost hear an “Oh my!” from my mouth aloud. Very cleverly woven.
    Ps- “The diary of Ann Frank” was my favorite book in childhood.

    • Wow, thanks for that comment. I enjoyed the book as a child too, and one called, I think, Zlata’s Diary, which was a similar story from the Bosnian confict

  14. Dear Jennifer,

    And now you have been marked as a non-conformist and free thinker. Good luck.

    This was a great take on the prompt and very imaginative on your part. They’re going to find her through her ISP anyway. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • Doug,
      If they’ve only just noticed that now, I’m doing pretty well. And as for the ISP, I figure she’s piggy-backing on the network of the family hiding her, so the use shouldn’t ring too many alarm bells. But I don’t really understand such magic, so maybe I’m wrong
      Jen

  15. Dear Jen,

    I agree with Sandra in that the young voice adds to the chill of your story. Those ignorant of history are doomed to repeat it. Having read the Diary of Anne Frank more than once your story really smacks me between the eyes. In the best way.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    • I’m afraid that’s it’s not only the ignorant, Rochelle – a narrow view of the lessons of history can stop us seeing the dangers that come in different shapes and sizes.
      I’m glad to find others who have read and enjoyed (if that’s the word) Anne Frank’s diary – I should have known I was in great company!

  16. Excellent take even more emphasized with the voice of the narrator ! Horrifying but very easily possible ! loved it…

  17. And the wheel keeps on turning…It seams we are bound to make same mistakes over and over again. How sad…but lovely story.

  18. Jen, Recently a couple of young adults here criticized, on a social network, the fact that shops were closed for the funeral of a political leader; they were arrested. There was public outrage and it was in the papers so the girls were let go. However, the shop of one’s uncle was damaged by a mob. This is supposed to be a democracy. I must admit it’s better than some places. In case you didn’t catch my answer to you comment about being able to access my last post, that word “Private:” wasn’t added untill a couple of days after the story was posted. Well-written story. 🙂 —Susan

    • That sounds like a horrible story, Susan, but I can see it happening. There is such a delicate balance of power on both sides, and things like the riots in England a few years ago or the situation in Ukraine show how easily things can flip from relatively safe democracy to dangerous chaos. Frightening, all of it.

  19. Oy! I love this! You put a fantastic twist on in the end. This is just brilliant.

  20. A troubling piece. Full of omen.
    Write, not read is okay.

    • For the record, I always read some – usually about 10% of the total entries – because I think that’s part of the fun and also part of our joint responsibility as a community, but last week I went for 100% and it was quite the challenge!

  21. Terribly clever as usual, darling, and I believed the authenticity of the voice you used. Sigh. Today was a total wash re: editing, in case you’re wondering why I’m here. Got too busy, couldn’t possibly concentrate on editing, so I figured I’d chip away at the huge Friday Fictioneers list.

  22. That is one scary little story – well done.

  23. A very interesting perspective. I loved the teenaged voice with ‘computers and whatever’.

  24. Very well told through the innocent voice of a child, and a chilling reminder of how we acknowledge the horrors of the past yet allow them to continue in different places under different names

    • Different places and different names is it absolutely, Siobhan. If we were just looking for a man called Hitler in Germany, I think we could handle it, but it’s not as simple as that. Thanks for your comment

  25. Dear Jen,
    I loved the voice. It was a perfect fit for the tale and so was the title. Well done.

  26. My hat is off to you for getting through the whole list. I have yet to work up the nerve to try it.

    • I used to do it in the old days, but it gets harder with every new joiner! I try to do it when one of my photos is used, because it’s so interesting to see what everyone makes of it.

  27. duskyisbeautiful

    You really did a commendable job, reading all the articles. Your story had so much in it. I
    felt sad for the little girl.

  28. Dear Jen, Great story and so well told. I know that trying to read all the stories takes an enormous amount of time now. When I started, there were only around 60 or 70 and it was pretty easy to read them all, but now with the new group addition, it is hard to read half of them. Excellent story! Nan 🙂

  29. The Muse was definitely working overtime on this. Excellent, Jen! You made it happen.

  30. A well-written reminder that history is doomed to repeat itself if we don’t pay attention. Well done.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/creature-comforts/

  31. Sun

    the comparison made by your main character between herself and the character in the book was interesting. i also heard a news story on the D-Day invasion and how back then the invasion was possible but could probably never happen in this time where secrets can only be kept a few minutes with the new technologies these days. same underlying problems but different perspectives. great story.

  32. Great story this week, Jennifer. The juxtapositioning of two girls’ lives works powerfully.

    All my best,
    MG

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