Friday Fiction time again. I’m slightly hampered by technology today, including the fact that my Word Count device seems to be stuck on 99, no matter how many words I add or take away. I suppose I could count manually, but instead I’m just going to ask your forgiveness for possibly going one or two over / under 100.
Rochelle hosts us and Adam Ickes provided this week’s photo. As usual, please feel free to be honest!
Mrs Mwanna’s house is really weird. It’s full of boxes, like on Hoarders except that Mrs Mwanna’s stuff is all carefully labelled. She’s got this one box where I think she stores her conversations with the spirits, because it’s got a sign on the outside that says In Voices.
She asked me to go and get her a new box of candles out of the back room and I saw the In Voices box and then I saw Joey chewing on a candle. Father Andrews says “The devil lives among us,” but he’s probably just seen Mrs Mwanna’s pet goat.
Hello
That was a really clever use of the invoices box. I wasn’t expecting it, and it made me smile :-). Nice story.
Chris
Thanks, Chris. I always enjoy an excuse to wheel these characters out and Mrs Mwanna isexactly the sort of person to have apet goat.and a goat skull too, to be honest.
‘In Voices’…groan 🙂
I’d probably be less ashamed of it if it were a pun … Actually when i first saw the pic, i thought it was notes for a novel of that title.
Yeah, I know. Me too! 😆
I have a weakness for child narrators — you capture that innocence and wonder really well. No nitpickiness this week. You get the Dilettante seal of Approval.
Sure i haven’t just scared you off, Helena? Thank you, though, i like this character too (you may have seen her here before)
Great, Jen! I laughed out loud at that first paragraph. The “voice” of the narrator, though, very innocent-sounding. Wonderful stuff! Bravo!
🙂 thanks!
This was great. I busted out laughing a few times- didn’t quite know what to expect here. Very well done! Being that I work in accounting and purchasing, every time I see an invoice (which is quite often) I will think of you!
I hope it brightens your day a bit to remember the laughter!
Lovely voice in this one. You caught it just right.
Claire
Dear Jen,
No matter how you came to In Voices it worked well in this piece. I could just hear the child. I remember as a child thinking the word was wardrope and not wardrobe. 😉 Well written right down to Mrs. Mwanna’s pet goat.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Cheers, Rochelle. Always a pleasure with these characters
I love the confidence of the child’s voice in this story, believing he/she has got it all figured out, while the adults are lagging a bit behind 🙂
This is incredibly simple and great and well thought out and done in the right voice … and whew, I’ve run out of compliments.
Thoroughly enjoyable !
I love the reference to the “In Voices” box!!!
Dear Jennifer,
I loved the MC’s voice and the reach to explain the boxes label. Very imaginative and carried off like a pro. I like the ‘word count is broken’ excuse, too. I’m going to use it. I would have last week but I can count to two so it wouldn’t have flown.
Aloha,
Doug
My word count is broken and the dog ate my homework. I’m sticking to my story!
Beautifully crafted.
I’ll echo the others: “in voices” is quite clever. And the confidence of the narrator, that he’s got it all figured out and the adults could learn a thing or two from him.
This is hilarious, Jen! So many double references. Clever and brilliantly written.
You were perfectly “In Voice” with that line. Fun story. Good job. Randy
I still misinterpret words so I could definitely relate to In Voices. I loved this one, Jenn. Extremely clever and so much fun to read. Great job.
Jen, That was really cute and humorous. A child is likely to think exactly that way. I’m glad the goat is enjoying itself. Well written. 🙂 —Susan
Wonderful voice her, Jen. Always good reading on Elmowrites. 😉
Loved this! Really creative with the “In Voices.”
This was a clever take on the prompt, Jennifer. I really liked the “In Voices” explanation!
The “In voices” thing was a great idea! Great take on the prompt 🙂
Here is mine: http://reemadsouza.blogspot.in/2014/07/a-stranger-in-my-own-house.html
Great innocent child’s voice. (I don’t like to presume but assumed this was a Melanie story.) The connection between Joey and the devil is perfect.
You’re right, Melanie strikes again! Thank you for noticing her; and i’m glad you liked Joey too!
Great innocent child’s voice. (I don’t like to presume but assumed this was a Melanie story.) The connection between Joey and the devil is perfect. And that was an inspired use of in-voices.
Dear Jennifer, I may have already commented on your story, but if not – here goes. I love it and the name Mwannas! So clever and I love that she has a box of voices tool You are so clever with the story itself!. Thanks, Nan 🙂