Welcome! It’s Voice Week and my challenge for the week is to show you five different people, all eating a banana. I’m not sure exactly how that particular subject came about, but perhaps there’s a clue in the slice of life that is Voice 1.
Those of you who know me have a head start with this one, but the challenge for all 5 pieces is the same. How much can you tell about the character from 100 words centred on a banana? Are their voices distinct? I’ve delibately avoided description – do their thoughts alone tell you who they are? Because the characters in my head are pretty fixed, but only you can decide how well I’ve translated them onto the page. Leave me a comment today, or every day if you care to, and let me know. A brief explanation will appear the day after, on the next story.
SEBASTIAN
Bastian banana! Maaamaaaa! Banana!
Climb. Bastian chair. Mama chair. Mama sit.
Noooooo! Bastian banana!
Yum yum. Mama chair. Mama sit.
What colour banana? Red. No. Blue. No. <Giggles> Red. No. Yellow. Banana yellow. Yellow!
Banana. Mama open? Mama open?
Noooo! No open. Mama no open! Bastian do it.
Bastian eating.
Mama do it.
Noooo! Bastian banana! Nooo! Mama no open!
Banana broken! No banana! All done. Gone.
No wash! Down! Down!
Bastian banana. Yum yum. Mama open. Yum yum yum. Mama eat.
No! Bastian banana!
Bastian banana. Yum yum.
Nice. More banana. More. Yum yum.
Banana all gone. Apple pie?
This sounds like the conversations i have with my daughter on a daily basis. 🙂
🙂 I’m glad it’s not just me!
Nice job! I can imagine this was probably a bit of a gamble, taking on and accurately representing a two-year-old-ish, but needless to say it paid off. Can’t wait for tomorrow!
I think it’s an advantage that I spend 98% of my time with said two-ish-year-old, Evan, but thanks for the vote of confidence!
I’m thinking we’re getting the POV of a very young child with limited vocabulary 🙂
Thanks Carrie, you’re bang on. It was surprisingly hard to show what was going on given the limits of his vocab
I certainly love this. I recognize this type of conversation from when my two children were littler. Well done!
Thank you, Billie. I suspect this is one for the parents out there. 😉
Pingback: Voice Week 2014 – 1: Sebastian | elmowrites | Voice Week HQ
A petulant child, just learning to speak, and trying to do things on his own. Quite descriptive, both frustrating and amusing slice of parent life.
haha, petulant is such a good word for the vagaries of toddlerhood!
I absolutely love this voice, it’s very distinctive and jumps out of the page, I can see my nephew talking like this when he masters his words and sentences more. Brilliant job.
aww, enjoy that. It’s probably an easier stage for Auntie than Mama, but then, which stage isn’t?!
Very true, my sister has done a wonderful job in raising him, and I have no problems looking after him when it’s needed, so I enjoy every moment with him. He’s at the stage where he strives to hear ‘clever boy’ etc. lol
Hahahah, yeah. This sounds like what must be going on in my nephew’s head, only he doesn’t have the words for it yet.
Great! Like I said, this one was kind of easy, but I’m still glad it rang true.
Hey, easy is great. That’s why “write what you know” is so effective. 🙂
This sounds very familiar. A small child learning new words and colors. The dialogue is true to life.
Yeah, Sebastian’s favourite game is to give the wrong answer, no, wrong answer, no a few times before he gives the right one.
Ha! The voice of experience. Well done.
They won’t all be!
Ahh, the nonsensicality of a child’s thought process. (This is why I don’t want kids. Lol!) 😉
Five voices around eating a banana. I just… I love this so much. It’s such a unique choice for Voice Week! Is it strange for me to be getting this excited about bananas? Oh well.
Looking forward to the other voices!
I’m glad you’re so excited about the bananas. It came about by accident but I decided to run with it.
I laughed when I read this; it’s such an accurate toddler voice, I feel. I love it.
Well now that’s a great reaction. Thanks
Adorable! Great work.
Thank you!
Sounds spot on based on what I remember from those long ago days. 🙂
janet
I hope this means you’re participating, Janet. Either way thanks for stopping by and for the vote of confidence!
Haha! My daughter has finally ended this type of conversation but my son is getting ready to go right into it. 🙂
Good luck with that! I’m actually loving this age for the mot part, but yeah. These moments are challenging.
I could picture the little boy getting all playful with the banana. Lovely picture 🙂
Long time, hope you’re doing well.
Thanks Parul, you too! Good to have you back here.
It sounds like a baby or a toddler. Cute. ^ ^
Stori Tori’s Blog
Too cute! A toddler who wants to be independant but still needs his mama. Adorable!