Voice Week 2014 – 4: Lily

I hope you felt for Charlotte yesterday. I’ve been in her position many times whilst nursing and rocking Sebastian and my biggest challenge in writing her story was to convey the desperation of just-out-of-reach sustenance in 100 words punctuated with nursery rhymes. There’s an analogy in there somewhere 😉

We’re going somewhere else today, to a character from one of my draft novels, Who Is Eric. I haven’t wheeled Lily out of my mind for a while, but I’d love to know what you think about her. Please note, her story does come with a LANGUAGE WARNING.


Oh lovely, dear. Yes, I would like a banana. Keeps the joints healthy, you know? And very good for weight loss. You should try them. Are you dieting? I suppose you grew up on bananas though, back home.

Oh? Walthamstow, really? I just thought… Mind you, you never can tell these days. Our postman – black as the ace of spades, but when he talks, you’d think he grew up nextdoor. As a matter of fact, he did. We knew him when he was a boy. First gollywog in the school. Can’t call them that either these days, can you?


Filed under Voice Week

20 responses to “Voice Week 2014 – 4: Lily

  1. This voice definitely seems older, more refined. I love how she views eating a banana as a health choice whereas the other voices have been more logical, like “It’s a banana, people eat bananas.” Can’t wait for the wrap-up!

  2. Pingback: Voice Week 2014 – 4: Lily | elmowrites | Voice Week HQ

  3. I agree with Christina, older and refined. She means well, but may be a bit self-absorbed, loves the sound of her own voice, doles out advice and pity to people who don’t want it. She probably doesn’t consider her language to be offensive.

    Nicely done!

  4. Older generation, she grew up in a much different world. Sounds like my grandfather, he used whatever terms for people he wished, despite their correctness 🙂

    • I think most of this generation did/do and to be fair, it’s what they were raised on. Lily isn’t exactly racist – she doesn’t think of the carer or the postman as inferior because of their colour – but she says things that sound racist to the modern ear.

  5. I get a very distinct impression of this person…and I think I know people like her.

  6. This voice sounds like it could be a grandparent. And, like my grandmother, doesn’t have a filter on what she says.

  7. Evan

    Hmm…I definitely see a lot of evidence of the Shifting Paradigm here. Very interesting to contrast with your other posts thus far. Nicely done!

  8. Oh dear… Sounds just like my Nanna! She always speaks her mind without filters. 😉

  9. Oh this is one of those type of people. Well, enough said. And very well written indeed. I could feel myself tensing up reading this voice.

  10. She seems like a busybody and perhaps a gossip. Older lady? Interesting voice and creative description. 🙂

    Stori Tori’s Blog

  11. Ah, very different! Caution and tact go right out the window in this one. She seems quite affable!

  12. Excellent characterization! Older woman, not really racist but doesn’t care to be PC either. She says what she wants. I kind of like her!

  13. Oh dear, she reminds me of my 93 year old grandfather, who still uses the N word and doesn’t seem to get that it’s not acceptable these days. Still, pretty harmless, just a bit behind the times.

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