Daily Archives: September 9, 2015

FF – Nothing / Not Even Love

Ooh, my picture today, and a recent one too, taken in the waterfront park at Penetanguishene, Ontario. My story went a different way and I would appreciate your feedback. In particular, the middle sentence in the final line was a late addition. I think it adds clarity, but I’d love to see what you think.

Edit: I always say it doesn’t matter how you read these stories – your interpretation doesn’t have to match mine. But the interpretation most people seem to have had made my last line feel incongruous to them (rather than being a clue), and that’s just a shame. I’ve taken the comments on board and rewritten somewhat. Does it help?

jp3

Not Even Love

There’s rust on the gate he walked through daily, coming and going; and the flowers in the bed beside it are wilting because he was the only one who ever remembered to water them. There’s cheese in the fridge that used to smell in a good way, but not anymore; and the box of chocolates I bought to console myself is empty but for the fudge one, even though I know he won’t be coming back for it and I’m not really saving it for him.

Nothing lasts forever, they say. Not even love, they say. Let’s hope they’re right.

***

Nothing (Previous Draft)

There’s rust on the gate he walked through daily, coming and going; and the flowers in the bed beside it are wilting because he was the only one who ever remembered to water them. There’s cheese in the fridge that used to smell in a good way, but not anymore; and the box of chocolates I bought to console myself is empty but for the fudge one – which he likes and I don’t – even though I know he won’t be coming back for it and I’m not really saving it for him.

Nothing lasts forever. Not even love. Thank goodness.

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