FF – Running on empty

Why don’t I recognize Sean Fallon’s photo? I thought. I’ve been joining in with FF for over five years and Rochelle’s reruns are normally a chance for me to take a break and a trip down memory lane. Then I noticed the date: 15 November 2012. Eleven days after this.

All of which meant I needed to write a new story, but I already had the perfect one in my head. A memory, from roughly eleven days ago. I am usually a stickler for exactly 100 words, but today I’m struggling to get it down, so the current count is 120. I hope you’ll forgive me, or suggest where I can do some pruning.

EDIT: There. 100 words. I knew it must be possible. Thanks especially to Rochelle, for her suggestions.

copyight-sean-fallon

Running on Empty (Genre: Memoir)

I was finally talking to an adult, discussing escaping to a spa, even just a bar. Then something spikey was thrust into my hand.
“Finn’s siren’s not working.”
I squeezed the toy. It whined like a distant cat fight.
“I think the battery’s dying.”
“We can take him to Grandad Dog’s garage.”
“I think we can probably do it ourselves,’ I said, removing the battery cover and accidentally pressing the ladder.
“Faaast and feeearless, I’m Fiiiirey Flynn.”

I smiled. Fast and fearless is all very well, but you’re not fooling me. I know all about needing to recharge the batteries.

 

31 Comments

Filed under Friday Fiction, Writing

31 responses to “FF – Running on empty

  1. Caerlynn Nash

    Oh, yes. We all need to recharge occasionally, don’t we. I hope she gets her time away! Nice story.

    • The ‘she’ is me, and I hope I do too. We really are planning that spa / bar option when we go away, assuming we can both leave our boys with their Daddys for an hour or two

  2. Ahh, motherhood… Loved it, and so pleased I can leave that happy, frustrating, joyous, meaningful, disastrous, precious job to brave women like you… An hour or two is not enough – take a whole day!

  3. If it was just like that to exchange the batteries…. love the connection between the stories… 🙂

  4. Adam Ickes

    Children can be exhausting at times, can’t they? Hope you get that recharge you need. I could use one myself.

  5. Dear Jen,

    How well I remember those days. My kids (and pets) seemed to have radar. If I was on the phone they chose that moment or a crisis. I assume you’re on the phone in the beginning.
    I think you could lose most of the first line. Or rearrange it like:

    Finally, I was talking to an adult when something spikey was thrust into my hand.

    I got the young mum’s frustration and exhaustion in the rest of the story…particularly the last line.
    Also, you could pare down the conversation where the child says we need to take him…
    Rather than repeat the whole thing she could say, “We don’t need to do that.”

    It’s a lovely story, one that many of us can relate to. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    • Thanks for the suggestions. I’ll take another look later if I get chance. I felt the spa/bar bit needed to show the mother’s version of recharging, but maybe it’s obvious.
      And yes, I think the phone is the natural reading of the first line. I was actually in person at a play date.

  6. gahlearner

    That’s fun. I love the siren that sounds like a distant cat fight. I hope you get a chance to recharge…

  7. Lovely analogies. Yes, you need recharging. We tend to give too much of ourselves away, and need to replenish, in order to nourish ourselves and others better.

  8. You just keep getting better and better, Jen. I liked everything about it. Keep a-going! It’s very rich in meaning.

  9. Ha! Ha! Have done that in the past. Taken the kids out for a few hours so that mum can have some time to herself 😀

  10. As the mother of four I sympathise, but it’s worth it in the long run!

  11. Of course, you most certainly need rest ,once in a while, from all that hectic stuff

  12. That’s motherhood in a nutshell. If only we had batteries that could be changed. Mine never recharged fast enough!

  13. I really like your story – the title says it all. Great comparison between the toy and the mum. We can all identify, I’m sure.

  14. I need to recharge my batteries too, after I figure out how to take them out and put them back in the right way.

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