FF – Next Stop

Its Friday! And I’m catching up on Friday Fiction. This week’s photo is from Shaktiki Sharma. It was hard for me t make out the image on my little phone screen, so I went with the old “say what you see” motto and the story below was created. Your comments are welcome.

Whatever you’re celebrating at this time of year, even if it’s ‘just’ Friday, I hope it is happy and peaceful for you.


Next Stop

The view from the bus was uninspiring – leering neon as unappealing as the darkness. People loitered around the shadows, but she fought the urge to fear them. She was safer among these strangers than she had ever been with Mark.

She clutched Eloise’s weary hand in hers and strode across the street towards a flashing Vacancies sign. The room rates posted below it were hourly, with a discount for the whole night. It was no place for her, and certainly not for Eloise, but her shoulders lifted slightly as she stepped inside.

“Come on,” she whispered, “Our new adventure awaits!”


Filed under Friday Fiction, Writing

21 responses to “FF – Next Stop

  1. “leering neon” is a great image

  2. Dear Jen,

    It sounds like they’re leaving an abusive situation. Well written.

    Shalom and Happy New Year,


    • That’s what I thought too, Rochelle. We have a family shelter moving into the neighborhood soon and it’s made me think a lot about the variety of women who must end up there. There but for the grace of God…

      Happy New Year to you too!

  3. Dale

    Talk about making the best out of a situation.. Bravo Mum on making it seem so to Eloise!

  4. I love the idea of a discount for the whole night. It truly shows so much about the seediness of the place.

  5. A new adventure awaits. Yup, it certainly does. Nice job, Jen.
    Have a Happy New Year!

  6. Very well written. It’s the beginning of a new start, hopefully it’ll get better

  7. I have stayed in a motel like that… but it could well be the safest place she could find…

  8. This was all too real, Jen.

  9. Hope it all goes well with them and they find a more settled place too. Sounds like she’s taken a courageous step for the better. Great job of a conjuring a place and a moment. Happy New Year!

  10. “Leering neon” did set up the whole scene perfectly. Nicely done.

Feedback feeds the muse. Join in the conversation here:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s