A return to Friday fiction

Hi there,

This blog has been quiet so long, I bet you wondered if I was ever coming back. I did too. But here I am, possibly for a one-off, possibly for a sporadic return to the fold. We’ll have to wait and see. Those little boys whose births were announced here 2.5 and almost 5 years ago are growing, and growing up and definitely keeping me busy. Here they are in a forest, up to some cute mischief!

But I’m really ere to share a story, to try my hand at getting back into the Friday Fiction party, and for that, I present to you a picture (Copyright Sarah Potter) and 100 words of story. I’m not happy with any of my current ideas for a title – feel free to suggest one if you are inspired. Either way, I welcome your constructive critique, I’m a bit rusting on writing, editing and what-have-you, so I’m sure there’ll be plenty to say!

For Sale: Baby shoes. Never worn.

The line flew unbidden into Alice’s head as she stared at Joey’s old boots, stuffed away and forgotten when summer called for sandals. She’d spent so much of their marriage cleaning up after him, it’d probably been her, but she couldn’t remember. Occasionally he’d swept through the house and made it look like she never put any effort in at all; annoying her even more.

A spider dashed out and shot across her hand.

“Oh Joey,”  Tears washed black spots onto the shoes again. “I wish you’d come back and piss me off again.”

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37 Comments

Filed under Friday Fiction, Writing

37 responses to “A return to Friday fiction

  1. Welcome back, and what a bittersweet story!

  2. Dear Jenn,

    I often wonder if the things that irritate me might be the very things I’d miss the most. Bittersweet and poignant story. Good to see you back this week. I’ve been watching those boys on Facebook. They are growing.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  3. Yeah, funny how the people you love can annoy the heck out of you until they’re gone and you miss even their worse habits.

  4. When you tell the age of your boys it reminds me of how long I have been writing for FF… I remember the birth of both. Love the story and a title is hard to do, I usually think of metaphors so maybe “Phantom Pains” could work.

  5. Nice to see you back! I’d be literal with the title: ‘The Spider in the Shoe”, which could stand for her feelings of loss as well. Nice work.

  6. Funny! I was just thinking about you the other day, wondering where you’d gone! Wonderful to see pictures of the boys, I was here for birth #2. Anyway, nice to see you back. This story is spot-on. I used to wish my mom would stop telling the same old stories. Now I want to hear each one of them twenty times in a row. Welcome back.

  7. Separation and loss might make even the most irritating of traits tolerable and sometimes even endearing. This was such a bittersweet tale. I enjoyed reading it. Cheers

  8. No sign of rust on that writing! I love that last line “I wish you’d come back and piss me off again.”

  9. I knew it was coming, but the last line got me anyway.

  10. “After the final dust settles.” I do think I would miss the messy parts of my marriage just as much as everything else.
    Glad to see you back. I’ve been MIA off and on myself.
    Tracey

  11. Wow. I felt it in this story. Well done!

  12. Dale

    It is definitely the things that bugged you that you miss the most!

  13. Hey, welcome back, glad you are having fun with your boys, and this story, so bitter-sweet. Not sure where the rust is. These 100 words are perfectly formed. A distinctive beginning, middle and end, well-paced, nice tone. Great big star. (Hopefully you are into stars!)

  14. So nice to read one of your stories again. Even if this did break my heart!

  15. Yep, sometimes better the devil you know. Nicely done.

  16. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover

    This was heartbreaking. I’m torn between “you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone” to paraphrase Joni Mitchell and she’s seeing the past through rose colored glasses. Nice take on the prompt.

  17. Awww……sad story. You wrote it perfectly. :o)

  18. So true–we never miss what we have until it’s gone. Well done

  19. Welcome back. Wonderful story of loss and longing.

  20. Enjoyed the photos of the boys, Jenn. And it’s great to see you back.
    My grandmother was a grumpy sort. Years after she died, I remember hearing my dad say how much he’d love to hear her gripe & complain one more time. Great writing.

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