My photo today, so a long extroduction follows my story. If you just want to read 100 words though, they are immediately below the image.
The perfect job sits at the centre of the Japanese venn diagram for happiness: Do something you’re good at, something you love, that pays money and contributes to the world.
That job seems a long way away – for nine years my time’s been spent providing for, teaching and generally raising two boys.
Sometimes I make mistakes, but if I can be judged by who they are becoming, I can’t be doing too badly. My role allows Jon to earn the family more. Our boys are our contribution to the world. And I love them.
They are my ikigai.
Last year, the kids were home for a LOT of school. One week they studied Venn diagrams. I love venn diagrams, and the boys like to be stretched so I pushed them to make something a little more complicated than the 2-part ones the teacher had set. Hence made this 3-part diagram with rings for “lego”, “red” and “living” things. And a pink truck which is outside all the rings.
Around the same time, a friend introduced me to the Japanese concept of Ikigai. The way she explained it is as set out in the first paragraph of my story. I have since read other explanations which suggest that this may be a westernised version of the original concept, but the venn diagram nature of her explanation appeals to me. I had something very close to the centre as a lawyer, many years ago, but have struggled to find the same balance in my post-law working life.
I once wanted to be a teacher. I watch my kids’ teachers though and I don’t know if I would be have been good at it. I love teaching, but I wouldn’t love the politics or the crowd control. ‘Home schooling’ the boys for so much of the last 2 years has been hard but there have been triumphs too. They loved little personalised extra challenges I set them, things that a teacher managing a class of 25 couldn’t possibly have time for.
When Rochelle posted my photo, I percolated it in the shower. Would I write a memoir about the history of this picture? A piece of silly fiction about the various items in the image? Ikigai came back to me and I considered writing about my quest for that balanced job. I read a little more about ikigai and came across a link about finding it outside of working life, or in a combination of work and life.
Sebastian turns 9 tomorrow. I’ve been a parent longer than I was a lawyer. I’m still searching for the perfect job, but perhaps I have already found my ikigai.