Since Melanie had a rerun last week, she has more to say. Hopefully, one day, a whole novel’s worth, but for now, she’s just commenting on the weather!
Inside and Out
Church is always calm on the inside. Even when it’s stormy outside and the rain is soaking everything. Inside it’s quiet.
Not me. I get stormy on the inside. Like when I stood at the front and my tummy squiggled like breakfast was shouting to get out, but I couldn’t even say the Amen and Father Andrews sent me to sit down.
Then Sarah winked at me and my insides started giggling, but Father Andrews was watching so I made my outsides look like Our Lady.
I look at her sometimes and I wonder. Is she stormy on the inside?
30 responses to “FF – Inside and Out”
You have told a bigger story in just 100 words. Well done.
Thanks Forestwood, I think those are the best ones!
I love the parallel between the building and tha narrator’s body
Thank you, Neil. I was struggling to place the piece in church clearly, so I’m glad this addition improved things for someone too!
I bet she was stormy on the inside. Lovely voice in this.
I bet she was. I’d have been pretty stormy if I was Jesus’ mum.
You showed how the rebel in your character was empowering.
I’m glad! I think Melanie will go far!
I think Our LAdy must have suffered a few storms in her eventful life!
Just one or two, yes
I love the way you’ve caught the voice of a young girl. I can remember suppressing giggles in church myself – you describe the sensation really well.
Giggles really are the worst, aren’t they? Although also the best feeling, if you can let it rip!
Good one… I like the pov on this one, too.
Thanks, Bear. She’s a favourite of mine, to be sure
You’ve captured the thoughts of a child so nicely!
Thank you! The minds of children are so fascinating
You’ve nailed the voice in this character. Loved it.
Thanks Sandra, just need to get her to talk for longer now!
I like this glimpse of a young person’s examination of her own inner self. Typical of so many of us, I’m sure.
My ability to laugh uncontrollably in church was gifted to me at a very young age.
I recall floods following a long draught when the very funny Irish priest said, “Would the gentleman who is still praying for rain please stop?”
Aw, sounds like your priest was the kind not to mind a bit of laughter. Father Andrews is a bit too fire and brimstone for such things.
They are not all the same. But they are all spoiled regarding the realities of life. 🙂
Delightful voice! I love this character! 🙂
Thanks! Me too
I like the way her mind thinks, and I believe the answer is yes.
The characterisation was fabulous
I love the way Melanie describes herself as stormy on the inside. I think this girl has so much more to say.
That’s a lovely turn of phrase “stormy on the inside”. Nicely done.