FF – Inside and Out

Since Melanie had a rerun last week, she has more to say. Hopefully, one day, a whole novel’s worth, but for now, she’s just commenting on the weather!

Photo copyright: David Stewart

Inside and Out

Church is always calm on the inside. Even when it’s stormy outside and the rain is soaking everything. Inside it’s quiet.

Not me. I get stormy on the inside. Like when I stood at the front and my tummy squiggled like breakfast was shouting to get out, but I couldn’t even say the Amen and Father Andrews sent me to sit down.

Then Sarah winked at me and my insides started giggling, but Father Andrews was watching so I made my outsides look like Our Lady.

I look at her sometimes and I wonder. Is she stormy on the inside?



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30 responses to “FF – Inside and Out

  1. You have told a bigger story in just 100 words. Well done.

  2. I love the parallel between the building and tha narrator’s body

  3. I bet she was stormy on the inside. Lovely voice in this.

  4. You showed how the rebel in your character was empowering.

  5. I think Our LAdy must have suffered a few storms in her eventful life!

  6. I love the way you’ve caught the voice of a young girl. I can remember suppressing giggles in church myself – you describe the sensation really well.

  7. Good one… I like the pov on this one, too.

  8. CGraith

    You’ve captured the thoughts of a child so nicely!

  9. You’ve nailed the voice in this character. Loved it.

  10. I like this glimpse of a young person’s examination of her own inner self. Typical of so many of us, I’m sure.

  11. My ability to laugh uncontrollably in church was gifted to me at a very young age.
    I recall floods following a long draught when the very funny Irish priest said, “Would the gentleman who is still praying for rain please stop?”

  12. Delightful voice! I love this character! 🙂

  13. I like the way her mind thinks, and I believe the answer is yes.

  14. michael1148humphris

    The characterisation was fabulous

  15. Dear Jen,

    I love the way Melanie describes herself as stormy on the inside. I think this girl has so much more to say.



  16. That’s a lovely turn of phrase “stormy on the inside”. Nicely done.

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