FF – On The Stairs

Last week’s Wednesday – Friday got lost in the excitements and dramas of the season, so I’m pleased to be back today … and earlier than normal because I’ve escaped to the UK so I have a time zone advantage!

Photo copyright Roger Bultot

On The Stairs

The carpet on the stairs was old and worn, it felt more like concrete than plush underfoot and Maggie clutched the rail for balance.

The first time she’d met Omar, she’d gone down another staircase, into that dingy bar on Main Street, wondering if this date would be another one as grim as the venue.

Yet here she was descending sweeping, carpeted stairs in a white dress. She glanced across at her Dad. His face was set hard, but his eyes glistened.

“Hold on tight,” he said. And she knew he wasn’t talking about the handrail or even his arm.

Extroduction – just a short one this week!

This isn’t the story I thought it was going to be, so it feels a bit out of keeping with itself. I wonder if it will feel right to the reader, though, as you come to it without the same preconceptions.



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45 responses to “FF – On The Stairs

  1. I think it works. There is something quite magical about it

  2. Life can be a rollercoaster! Expertly done, and Happy New Year!

  3. Works for me. I get a real sense of the father here.

  4. Yes, there are some decisions in life which need a steady hand.

  5. I get a sense that Father is not best-pleased. Maybe it’s just because he feels he’s loosing his daughter. Let’s hope that’s all it is.

    • I hope that’s all too. In my head, I think Dad was proud of the match, but also too proud to want his emotions to show. His words a piece of advice for the highs and lows of her life to come.

  6. “Hold on tight.” says it all.

  7. Dear Jen,

    Probably the best fatherly advice he could give. “Hold on tight.” I really like this. So much story in its elegant brevity.



    • Thank you, Rochelle. I think her father was trying to give her something she could use, but I don’t see him as a man of many words, so his brevity matched that of the story!

  8. Well done. I like the sparse richness of it.

  9. I’m picturing a wedding scene with this? The father giving her away? I agree with Neil, it works. Short and mystical. Well done 🙂

  10. I read your story, Jen, then your extroduction (I enjoy them). Challenged, I reread to be sure. I didn’t miss anything, so I think it worked fine.
    I pondered it, then went to read the lyrics to the Eddie Money song, “Baby Hold On.” A different perspective, but similar advice.
    From the first date at a sleazy bar to a fab wedding must have been quite a trip. Dad’s caution is right. Nothing is easy.
    I’m was not sure what “a bit out of keeping” meant, so I looked it up. I got no sense of that. In any case, well done.

  11. I hope her father’s tears are not justified. It’s odd when stories insist on going their own way, isn’t it!

  12. I feel the father is happy but fears she may fall, or be out of her depth, but I guess that’s how I would feel as a father having to let go of my daughter, my little girl (aged 19 at the moment but without partner, she’s happy so Daddy is happy!) Good stuff

  13. Good advice from her dad 🙂

  14. I think her dad is not entirely happy with her choice but still stands by her. Let’s hope her marriage is a happy one.

  15. I thought for a minute the place she was at was threatening but quickly caught up in the next few lines what was going on,

  16. i love a happy ending. it always works for me.

  17. I really enjoyed your take on the prompt. Love just happens. And the best one could is “hold on to it” through the highs and the lows.

  18. michael1148humphris

    I also enjoyed the development of this story

  19. It works. It stands on its own as a flash piece and could easily be incorporated into a serial or developed into a fuller story. There are fairy tale aspects to it that could direct its development.

  20. I’m guessing Omar chose the venue, and her dad can see the future. Smart man.

  21. Thanks elmowrites. The romantic feel permeates the story. Hope your trip to England gives you a boost. All the best for your coming writing.

  22. Lovely! And good advice for life, in general. 🙂 It’s a ride!

  23. Patricia Clair

    Oh, I really enjoyed this!

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