Last week’s Wednesday – Friday got lost in the excitements and dramas of the season, so I’m pleased to be back today … and earlier than normal because I’ve escaped to the UK so I have a time zone advantage!
On The Stairs
The carpet on the stairs was old and worn, it felt more like concrete than plush underfoot and Maggie clutched the rail for balance.
The first time she’d met Omar, she’d gone down another staircase, into that dingy bar on Main Street, wondering if this date would be another one as grim as the venue.
Yet here she was descending sweeping, carpeted stairs in a white dress. She glanced across at her Dad. His face was set hard, but his eyes glistened.
“Hold on tight,” he said. And she knew he wasn’t talking about the handrail or even his arm.
Extroduction – just a short one this week!
This isn’t the story I thought it was going to be, so it feels a bit out of keeping with itself. I wonder if it will feel right to the reader, though, as you come to it without the same preconceptions.
elmowrites 
I think it works. There is something quite magical about it
Thanks Neil, love should always be magical, especially at the beginning.
Life can be a rollercoaster! Expertly done, and Happy New Year!
Cheers Iain, and a happy new year to you too!
Works for me. I get a real sense of the father here.
Oh, I’m glad. The father is definitely an important character here, isn’t he?
Yes, there are some decisions in life which need a steady hand.
Indeed. Butterflies and jitters aside, the biggest decisions are worth taking care over.
I get a sense that Father is not best-pleased. Maybe it’s just because he feels he’s loosing his daughter. Let’s hope that’s all it is.
I hope that’s all too. In my head, I think Dad was proud of the match, but also too proud to want his emotions to show. His words a piece of advice for the highs and lows of her life to come.
“Hold on tight.” says it all.
Perhaps that is the main difference between a ‘successful’ marriage and a short one.
Dear Jen,
Probably the best fatherly advice he could give. “Hold on tight.” I really like this. So much story in its elegant brevity.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you, Rochelle. I think her father was trying to give her something she could use, but I don’t see him as a man of many words, so his brevity matched that of the story!
Well done. I like the sparse richness of it.
“Sparse richness” sounds lovely, I’ll take it!
I’m picturing a wedding scene with this? The father giving her away? I agree with Neil, it works. Short and mystical. Well done 🙂
Yes, that’s what I pictured too. To the guy she met in the dingy bar, who turned out to be a keeper. I’m glad you liked it, thank you.
It’s great when someone else sees what I see in a story 🙂
You’re welcome, there was so much more than 100 words to the story 👌
I read your story, Jen, then your extroduction (I enjoy them). Challenged, I reread to be sure. I didn’t miss anything, so I think it worked fine.
I pondered it, then went to read the lyrics to the Eddie Money song, “Baby Hold On.” A different perspective, but similar advice.
From the first date at a sleazy bar to a fab wedding must have been quite a trip. Dad’s caution is right. Nothing is easy.
I’m was not sure what “a bit out of keeping” meant, so I looked it up. I got no sense of that. In any case, well done.
Thanks for your perseverence, Bill. I suspect this is one of those things where I’m second-guessing myself unnecessarily. The story stands on its own, my expectations be damned! I’ll check out those lyrics too!
🙂
I hope her father’s tears are not justified. It’s odd when stories insist on going their own way, isn’t it!
Odd indeed! I think Father is just getting emotional, as much as he wouldn’t like to admit it.
I feel the father is happy but fears she may fall, or be out of her depth, but I guess that’s how I would feel as a father having to let go of my daughter, my little girl (aged 19 at the moment but without partner, she’s happy so Daddy is happy!) Good stuff
Different fears when they are 9, 19 and 29, but that line about ‘she’s happy so Daddy is happy’ probably doesn’t change much! Thanks for stopping by!
pleasure, see you next FF!
Good advice from her dad 🙂
Thank you!
I think her dad is not entirely happy with her choice but still stands by her. Let’s hope her marriage is a happy one.
I’m sure that’s all he wishes for too.
I thought for a minute the place she was at was threatening but quickly caught up in the next few lines what was going on,
So did I, briefly! I’m glad we both got there though
i love a happy ending. it always works for me.
Thanks, plaridel!
I really enjoyed your take on the prompt. Love just happens. And the best one could is “hold on to it” through the highs and the lows.
What a wise view – thank you.
I also enjoyed the development of this story
Thanks, Michael
It works. It stands on its own as a flash piece and could easily be incorporated into a serial or developed into a fuller story. There are fairy tale aspects to it that could direct its development.
Ooh, a fairy tale. That would definitely be a new genre for me!
I’m guessing Omar chose the venue, and her dad can see the future. Smart man.
Thanks elmowrites. The romantic feel permeates the story. Hope your trip to England gives you a boost. All the best for your coming writing.
Lovely! And good advice for life, in general. 🙂 It’s a ride!
Oh, I really enjoyed this!