Friday Fiction – Ruins

Thanks to Madison Woods as usual for organising us – she’s been away recently, but I hope she’s back joining in with the writing part this week. Also thanks to Piya Singh for the gorgeous photo. I was right back in the UK with this one.

As ever, I’d love to hear what you think.

Ruins

Grandpa used to bring me here and tell me about the giant who dragged this truck to market. It wasn’t a cottage then, but a giant’s cart, with huge wheels on either side. When the giant died, the hills grew up around the cart until only one wheel was left exposed. That’s why it’s at the wrong angle to the water. See?

Now the hills are growing up around Grandpa; leaving only memories exposed. I want to pass them on to you, so that you know how great he was, and don’t just see the ruins of a badly-designed watermill.

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31 Comments

Filed under Friday Fiction, Writing

31 responses to “Friday Fiction – Ruins

  1. Dear Jen,

    You’ve done the genre proud! Hat’s off to you. I love the story within the story and how the memory of grandpa will live on in the hills and the stone house that saw his youth. Lovely stuff.

    As to mine? Yes, there was some politics on my mind. Off to read Sustainabilitea’s entry now. You’ve got me curious.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  2. Now that’s what I call lateral thinking, Jennifer. I can see the truck now. And I too had a few concerns about the position in which the water wheel was set. Really good one.

  3. This is very very nice on so many levels..i like the story underneath the whole story. Very well done!

  4. Grandpas should always be telling tall tales and forcing children to see the world differently. Lovely piece.

  5. Thank you elmo for such a beautiful story!

  6. Hi Jenifer,
    Great nostalgic piece and very imaginative! Ron

  7. John Hardy Bell

    Jen,

    I have to echo the praise of the other commentators. Love the two stories in one. Such wonderful imagery packed into so few words. The giant, the cottage that was once a cart, the hills growing around it, the passing of a legacy from one generation to the next. You did something really special here! Brav-o!

  8. Trudy

    A wonderful tale to pass on to a child, and this sentence is perfect – ‘Now the hills are growing up around Grandpa; leaving only memories exposed.’

  9. Stories are such a wonderful way to remember things and people. I really liked the same line Trudy mentioned above. It reminds me of all the stories my dad tells about growing up on the farm. I keep urging him to write them down so we’ll be able to make sure they go down in the family history. It was such a different time then. What a great job (and unique) on the prompt! You made me see it in a completely different way.

    • Keep nagging your Dad, Tea, as you say, stories are so much a part of our memories. I’m glad I gave you a different view on the picture – it’s always pleasing to see things in a way others don’t (and to read new impressions in other people’s stories)

  10. poignant — and closer to home than you can imagine. well done.

  11. Beautiful piece of writing, Jen. Love “leaving only memories exposed”.

  12. A beautifully written piece. Makes me miss all those who have passed on. I would love to have the memories of those who have gone before me. There is so much to learn. Wish I had a grandfather like the one in your story who thought it important to give us the gift of their past! Thank you.

    • Stories are part of our traditions, whether they are the novels of our most famous authors, or the memories of our forebears. I’m glad we are all contributing to that in our own little way, as writers!

  13. It wasn’t until I read yours that I could even see a cart, but that’s exactly what it looks like now and is just the sort of story a grandfather would tell. Well done!

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