FF -Stillness amid chaos

Thanks to CE Ayr, another picture for the Friday fictioneers to get our writing teeth into this week.  I’m a bit of a fan of Canadian railways myself, but the story took me a little way from the train lines. I would love to hear what you make of it, and if you read the tags afterwards, whether they come as a surprise…

ceayr3

Stillness amid chaos

Mimi paused in the middle of the bridge as she did every day. Far beneath her, the train yard was deserted. Stillness amid chaos. Her Grandma said it was something to strive for, that to be still was to be at peace.

Mimi hated stillness. That’s why she danced – to swirl away the thoughts that gripped the silence. Here in the city, dancing and parties, people and sounds could fill every waking second, so she stopped on the bridge in search of her Grandma’s stillness, knowing that she could find it whenever she wanted, sprawled on the concrete below.

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15 Comments

Filed under Friday Fiction, Writing

15 responses to “FF -Stillness amid chaos

  1. Stillness as in “splat?” You had me at the last sentence.

  2. Interesting idea to find stillness from the prompt. I like where it led you.

  3. Oh dear! I hope she gets no nearer to that jump than my chap did this week!

  4. It’s amazing how many people are drawn to railways for this very purpose. Expertly illustrated in this piece.

  5. Dear Jen,

    What a painful way to find stillness. I could almost hear Mimi’s racing thoughts and felt her despair. Not a great place to be. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  6. michael1148humphris

    There are so many great posts this week, and this was up there with them

  7. Ouch, painful and realistic. So many people cover their pain with frantic activities. And then they can’t any more.

  8. That is real. I feel so much for Mimi, so sad that stillness has been mixed up with stillness. Is Mimi’s twirling a mask of distraction for her own fear I wonder. Really, really good.

  9. So sad and too common an occurrence. Beautifully written.

    …when I grow up! My tale.

  10. Ohhhhhhh! My jaw fell open with the last line! Woeeee, you killed it!

  11. That last sentence is knock out. I hope she doesn’t jump for the stillness she craves but feel she will sometime, if something doesn’t happen for her

  12. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover

    Nice story. I didn’t expect the end but am glad she is resisting. Love “That’s why she danced – to swirl away the thoughts that gripped the silence.” There is a lot hidden in those words.

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